Another gimongous fight about the most inconsequential of things! Nevermind! Nevermind! Nevermind! This is what I keep telling myself. At some point though - nevermind becomes "I mind! Actually, I mind a LOT"... let me explain...

I think we're averaging 1 colossal-name-calling-curse-word-slinging fight every 2 months.  I don't know what the national statistics are but I can tell you for sure, these fights are NOT good. Anybody who knows me will tell you that I'm on a lifelong self-help program that consists of: a) reflecting on events to improve myself and; b) figuring out the reason for my existence.

During my last vacation, I discovered that I can be quite judgmental, impatient and stubborn. These are qualities that I now consider curable maladies - a mission possible for 2009. 

So I've been patient, I've been kind, I've been encouraging. I've apologized when I've been wrong. Pick your battles - let things go - all cliches that I'm really paying attention to. It's difficult though - and seemingly worthless to try and better myself then, when in the heat of an argument, I'm reduced to the same yelling-cursing-unable-to-put-any-coherent-thoughts-together mess. Arguments that go in circles - one over-communicating, the other one under-communicating. 

In other arguments, I was able to learn something about myself. Not today and not with this argument - but I'm hopeful that in the aftermath, there will be a silver lining among all the clouds.

April 29, 2008

The blogging debut - word from the wise OR word from the wicked?

I don't promise perfect grammar, spell-checks or full sentences - I just want to post about the things that resulted in an emotional reaction of sorts on a given day - a cause for reflection.

So I mentioned to somebody today that I thought I was kinda smart. There's so many things wrong with that. First of all, who says things like that - only somebody who's too self-confident yet lacking self-esteem would say that. Secondly, kinda smart? I am smart (but again, that's a thought that I will from hereonin keep to myself). Be it resolved that there is a LOT to be said for humbleness and I reminded myself to have a piece of humble pie for dessert tonight.

This second bit is for the ladies (I think) - trust in a relationship is the single most important thing. I trust my partner 100% but I still feel uneasy when he announces that he "thinks I should know" that he'll be attending a Bachelor Party in July which will involve golf, casinos and a strip bar. What's with that? I do rest easy knowng that we're equal parts in the recipe of our relationship and no potential outside threat is really a threat (and if it were, I know there'd be nothing I could do about it). I really think it might just be the thought that he's having fun without me (knowing that I'll never be invited to this event or to have the ability to share in the good times). It could also be that we're in a long-distance relationship and he'd rather party with the guys and get wasted then see me for a weekend - to his credit he commutes up 70% of the time to see me on the weekends, to his dis-credit, the bachelor isn't even a good friend of his. So yes! Thank you for letting me know about the up and coming but should I never hear about it until "the" weekend that it happens would be fine with me.

Signing off...